The Real House-students of Hogwarts S1E6
Episode 6: Black and Magic
DESIREE (V.O.): Previously, on this season of the Real House-students of Hogwarts.
BLAISE: I want to step down as BSU President.
The camera pans around the Astronomy classroom. Dean and Desiree look confused and upset.
DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: Was Blaise Confunded on the way here?
DEAN CONFESSIONAL: Dean lets out a long sigh, his eyes rolling to the ceiling.
CUT TO HERMIONE: I’m having a knit-in for S.P.E.W.
LAVENDER: I can help if you’d like.
HERMIONE CONFESSIONAL: Absolutely not.
Cut to Blaise hurrying after Desiree down the hall.
BLAISE: Come on, Des, just talk to me.
DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: I’ll say this about my relationship with Blaise: we’re just friends for a reason.
DEAN CONFESSIONAL: Every year, the school clubs are expected to host an event for the student body.
ALEX: What about a gala?
DEAN CONFESSIONAL: It’s the perfect way to celebrate ourselves out loud.
CUT TO a close up on Blaise. DEAN (V.O.): Some folks could benefit from that.
Cut to Lavender and Parvati arriving at Hermione’s Knit-In with Lavender’s Divination set up.
LAVENDER: Hey Hermione! Where should Parv and I set up?
HERMIONE: Oh no, I’m sorry Lavender, but we don’t have any space!
The camera pans around the Great Hall, where there is plenty of space.
LAVENDER CONFESSIONAL: Oh no this witch didn’t.
LAVENDER: Merlin, Hermione you’re such a fraud.
HERMIONE angrily steps to Lavender: A fraud??
Hermione whips out her wand, and Dean jumps in to grab her wand arm. Desiree pushes her back more forcefully as Parvati pulls Lavender back. Lavender and Hermione are screaming at each other, their words unintelligible.
*Upbeat/vaguely wizarding music plays*
BLAISE ZABINI: I may be a Slytherin, but I am not a snake.
DEAN THOMAS: I’m a team player, but I’m always ahead of the pack.
DESIREE WARBECK: My cookies are always served with tea.
ALEX JOHNSON: I may be the youngest, but I can teach these old bats a thing or two.
HERMIONE GRANGER: Books and cleverness? There are more important things…like justice.
LAVENDER BROWN: You can’t predict the future, but I can.
Pan out to reveal all six wizards, each holding out their wand over the words THE REAL HOUSE-STUDENTS OF HOGWARTS.
A series of shots: the Hogwarts castle at night, Professor Sinistra’s empty classroom, and then: the Great Hall. It’s bustling as members of the Hogwarts BSU put final touches on their set up. There are far more hands on deck than at Hermione’s Knit-In. We see BRADLEY DAMON (BSU Member, 7th year Slytherin) and CHARITY SAMUELS (BSU Member, 4th year Hufflepuff) setting up the DJ table, PROFESSOR SINISTRA (Astronomy Professor, BSU Advisor) magicking the stars and candles to light the room, and BLAISE ZABINI helping DESIREE WARBECK set up tables for refreshments and baked goods. Blaise is in dress robes of royal purple, while Desiree is in periwinkle blue with silver trim.
By the doors of the Great Hall, DEAN THOMAS and ALEX JOHNSON are checking items off of their list. Dean is in a tailored burgundy suit, Alex is in navy blue robes.
ALEX pouring over his clipboard: Okay, Bradley is setting up now so we’ve got our DJ, food looks good, the dance floor is set up. All that’s left is the check-in.
ALEX CONFESSIONAL: The gala is open to all students of Hogwarts, but the proceeds are going to a fund to support the Black students.
DEAN CONFESSIONAL: I’m just relieved we were able to pull this all together.
CUT TO Blaise and Desiree setting up. KEEGAN THOMPSON (BSU Member, 5th year Gryffindor) approaches.
KEEGAN: You sure you’re okay being seen at something like this, Zabini? Don’t want you to take too big a risk.
BLAISE rolls his eyes as Keegan leaves: You need anything else, Des?
DESIREE: Nope! This looks good. I’m going to go help Alex with check-in.
BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: Sure, I feel a little left out, but I’m glad the BSU is still going strong.
DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: She shrugs. I mean…that’s what happens.
Desiree heads over to Alex and Dean, where Alex is giving final orders. Alex and Desiree open doors and handle check-in. Music has started, folks are dancing.
HERMIONE GRANGER arrives with HARRY POTTER (Friend of Hermione). Hermione wears pearl-colored dress robes, her hair pulled back into two large puffs.
HERMIONE: Hi Alex, Hi Des! This all looks so wonderful.
DESIREE: Thanks, Hermione! This was all Alex’s brain child, though.
ALEX beaming: Thanks.
HERMIONE: Do you need any help with anything?
ALEX: Nope, just have fun.
ALEX CONFESSIONAL: I’m really hoping there’s no drama, but Hermione seems happy so we’ll see what happens once Lavender turns up.
Hermione and Harry meet Dean and Blaise over by Desiree’s bakes.
DEAN: You look great Hermione.
HERMIONE blushing: Thank you. You both look dashing yourselves.
Blaise nods, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.
BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: Checking the hems of his sleeves. I mean I know I look good.
HARRY: You all did a great job with this.
DEAN: Thanks mate. Side eyeing Blaise — Alex and I worked really hard.
DEAN CONFESSIONAL: Shrugging, Just don’t want anyone to get confused.
CUT TO the entrance to the Great Hall where LAVENDER BROWN has arrived in robes the color of sunset. With her is RON WEASLEY (Date of Lavender). The camera pans to Hermione, who looks shocked and furious. Harry clears his throat and takes a drink, exchanging a look with Dean.
DEAN CONFESSIONAL: Well I guess we now know how the night is going to go.
Cut to HERMIONE CONFESSIONAL.
PRODUCER: How do you feel about seeing Lavender with Ron?
HERMIONE CONFESSIONAL: It doesn’t bother me at all. Ron and I have been friends for years, way before Lavender came around. Why would it bother me?
Cut back to the Great Hall, where Lavender and Ron approach the group at the table of baked goods. She’s grinning, clearly happy to be here.
LAVENDER CONFESSIONAL: If other people have an issue, that isn’t my problem.
Back to Lavender, who is going around the circle, giving hugs.
LAVENDER: Hi everyone! You all look so good.
DEAN grimacing: Hey Lavender.
LAVENDER moving from Blaise to Hermione. She is smiling, with arms wide: Hi Hermione!
HERMIONE arms crossed as she shies away from Lavender. She waves: Hi.
LAVENDER CONFESSIONAL: She rolls her eyes. I really don’t understand her issue. I’m just trying to be polite and have a good time.
HERMIONE CONFESSIONAL: I have no problem saying hi. I said hi. Now bye.
Lavender awkwardly stands in front of Hermione with arms wide. After another beat, she moves to Harry, who awkwardly hugs her back. Hermione rolls her eyes, grabs a biscuit from the table, and stalks off.
LAVENDER CONFESSIONAL: So rude and so nasty.
The camera zooms in on Blaise, looking around at the group he’s standing with.
BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: His lip curls. How did I end up with all these Gryffindors?
Across the Great Hall, Desiree is in conversation with Professor Sinistra. Blaise walks over, greeting them both.
BLAISE: Hey Des…would you like to dance?
Desiree smiles and takes his hand.
The camera pans around the room, from where Hermione and Alex are deep in conversation, to where Dean is laughing with Bradley and Keegan, to Blaise and Desiree dancing together with wide grins on their faces. Lavender is deep in conversation with PARVATI and PADMA PATIL (Friends of Lavender). She is hanging on Ron’s arm.
LAVENDER (V.O.): These first few months of school have been a whirlwind, but I’m so glad I’ve gotten to spend it with Real people.
The camera freezes on her face, smiling up at Ron.
LAVENDER CONTINUES TO DATE RON WEASLEY. SHE MAINTAINS THAT THEIR HAPPINESS IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS.
The camera pans to Alex, who is now trying to form a soul train line.
ALEX (V.O.): I would say my first few months as VP of the BSU have been a success. I’m feeling heard, and can’t wait to put my ideas into action.
The camera freezes on Alex’s face, as he gestures for Dean to join him at the head of the line.
ALEX HAS THOUSANDS OF IDEAS ON HOW TO IMPROVE BLACK LIFE AT HOGWARTS. DEAN ONLY LETS HIM PITCH THREE AT A TIME.
Cut to Hermione, who is sipping on a mug of butterbeer, swaying next to Harry.
HERMIONE (V.O.): I’m really glad I was able to push S.P.E.W. forward, and look forward to being in a drama-free environment that will allow me to take it further than ever before!
The camera freezes on the annoyed look on Hermione’s face as she side-eyes Ron and Lavender again.
HERMIONE IS STILL WORKING HARD TO FREE THE HOUSE-ELVES OF HOGWARTS IN BETWEEN ASSISTING HARRY POTTER IN THE FIGHT AGAINST HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED. LAVENDER’S STARS HAVE YET TO COMMENT ON THE PROJECTED SUCCESS OF HER EFFORTS.
Cut to Desiree, who dances down the soul train line alongside Charity Samuels.
DESIREE (V.O.): These first few months of school have been great. I’ve gotten to do the things I love with my closest friends, even if there was a bit of drama along the way.
The camera freezes on her beaming face.
DESIREE STILL BAKES EVERY WEEK FOR HER CLOSEST FRIENDS, OF WHICH BLAISE HAS NOT YET BEEN ABLE TO PROGRESS FROM. SHE MAINTAINS THAT HE STILL NEEDS TO PROGRESS ON HIS OWN.
Cut to Dean, who is talking with SEAMUS FINNAGAN (Friend of Dean) by the table of refreshments.
DEAN (V.O.): There’s been so much going on since Blaise’s announcement, but I feel like I handled it as well as I could have. I definitely feel more prepared now, and it’s nice to know who I can rely on throughout the rest of the year.
The camera freezes on his face as he chews on a piece of fudge.
DEAN JOINED THE GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM AS AN ALTERNATE AFTER A FREAK ACCIDENT INCAPACITATING ONE OF THEIR CHASERS. HE CONTINUES TO BE A LEADER ON AND OFF THE PITCH.
Cut to Blaise, who stands just on the edge of the dancefloor, refusing to join the soul train line.
BLAISE (V.O.): This year started off rocky, but I can’t really say I regret any of the choices I made for myself.
The camera freezes on his face as he stoically watches the festivities, trying to keep a smile off of his face.
BLAISE IS STILL KEEPING A LOW PROFILE, BUT HE HELPS DESIREE AND DEAN OUT WHERE HE CAN. HE STILL DOESN’T KNOW WHO KEEGAN THOMPSON IS.
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (V.O.): Next time, on the historic 2-part reunion of the Real House-students of Hogwarts.
DUMBLEDORE: Mr. Thomas, what did you think about Mr. Zabini passing the torch to you, so to speak?
DEAN: I mean some heads up would’ve been nice.
BLAISE rolls his eyes: You’re so dramatic.
DEAN raising an eyebrow: Did you or did you not tell me you weren’t going to be President ten minutes before the first meeting?
DESIREE: He shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to tell everyone.
DUMBLEDORE: What is the status of your relationship?
DESIREE: Me and Blaise?
The camera cuts between Desiree, who looks stuck, and Blaise, who look uncomfortable. Desiree opens her mouth to answer, but the camera cuts short, turning to…
An angry Lavender who looks like she’s about to get to her feet. Desiree grabs her hand, and begins to whisper urgently to her. Dean looks at Alex with a smirk. Blaise rolls his eyes.
DESIREE: Lavender, calm down—
HERMIONE: JUST BE QUIET LAVENDER.
LAVENDER: NO YOU’RE NOT GOING TO TELL ME TO BE QUIET.